Everyone in life makes mistakes. We all do things that we are not proud of and then later regret. Sometimes we refuse to listen to the voice of God and do our own thing. I have that same story. I did something that I was not suppose to do and it took me 2 months to move on. I began to cry in my car and as time went on I began to hate myself. I will never forget when I was on the freeway I had to pull over because the thoughts began to play over and over in my head. My parents had no idea of what I did and still to this day nobody knows all the details. Sometimes I would lay down in my bed and cry about it because I knew better. There is nothing worse when your parents voice in your head says “You know better”. The enemy was literally having a field day with my mind. I was going through a spiritual attack and nothing seemed to help. When I would cry it seemed as though I was drowning in the puddles of my tears.
I would fight myself and say, “How could you? God doesn’t love you anymore. You are too far away from God to heal you.” Now I know that isn’t true, but at the time I believed all the lies the enemy told me. As months went on I called my cousin and asked her for advice. She said, “Deonte’ count your blessings. When times are hard in my life I begin to count my blessings until everything around me begins to seem small.” I honestly didn’t believe that would help. As I got off the phone I began to count my blessings. I said, “I am thankful for my loving family, I am thankful for the fact that I am graduating college this year (2015). I am thankful for wonderful friends that I have met throughout the years. I am thankful for my health and strength.” I kept going and I could not stop. I began the process of spiritual restoration. God was strengthening me through my faith and belief in him that he would everything that I asked.
Through this process I learned that God had forgiven me a long time ago, but I was still holding on to it. I had to learn how to let go and let go. I had to forgive myself. Tonight I pray that whoever is reading this to begin the process of forgiven yourself. Do not allow the enemy to play with your mind anymore.
You can be free tonight.