Should I Stay Or Leave the Relationship?

Sometimes we imagine our whole life with a person but then it all comes to an end when they don’t live up to the expectations they’ve promised us. Humans are humans and just because someone promises us forever does not mean that it will last forever.. as you mature you begin to realize that even though something didn’t last forever does not mean it wasn’t real.

@deontetowner

One of the hardest things to endure at night is trying to figure out if you should stay or leave the relationship. Sometimes we catch ourselves calling our friends for advice and loved ones explaining the situation not knowing what to do. We go from person to person asking for advice and then later become more confused after each conversation because everyone is giving us their personal opinion but our emotions and heart are pointing in different directions. We don’t want to leave but yet we want to stay because of everything that we have experienced with that person. We are tired of the way they treat us, we don’t want to deal with the stress of keeping them around in our lives, but then that still small voice inside of us says that they might change. We hold on to potential but yet we are still learning to look at reality and see people for who they truly are and not who we want them to be. Love can be so confusing especially when we’ve invested so much in the person.

Sometimes we imagine our whole life with a person but then it all comes to an end when they don’t live up to the expectations they’ve promised us. Humans are humans and just because someone promises us forever does not mean that it will last forever.. as you mature you begin to realize that even though something didn’t last forever does not mean it wasn’t real. As you experience your ups and downs, times of confusion and emotional roller coasters with a person.. ask God for advice and always seek him in prayer. He is the only one that knows your future and through reading the word he will give you perfect advice. Yes, God put humans in our lives to guide us but sometimes they just don’t know the right answer when it comes to certain matters of the heart.

Tonight I am praying for anyone out there struggling with their feelings. I pray that God gives you clarity on what to do and that you find strength to accept the truth and follow his will for your life. Now go get some rest, stop asking everyone for advice and just depend on God.

Psalms 145:18 The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

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Lack of Communication Hurts

Don’t get someone not knowing how to communicate with you mixed up with them not loving you.

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Don’t get someone not knowing how to communicate with you mixed up with them not loving you. We have to learn that people are who they are, and everyone is different. It is important to allow people to be themselves, and realize that setting high expectations for a person will ruin a friendship or relationship. It is not fair to want someone to be who we want them to be. Not everyone wants to talk on the phone everyday, some friends and loved ones only want to talk once a month. Does that mean they love you any less? No! Don’t allow your mind to tell you that you aren’t loved by them. Sometimes when we don’t get the communication that we want we begin to feel unwanted, but in most cases that friend or loved one just needs time to get their mind right. OR, the way you communicate isn’t how they operate.

Sometimes we want people to be open and transparent but some people rather be a closed book. You may get frustrated because you want them to talk about the issues that they are facing in their life, but they may not be ready. Some people only want to let you know a little bit and then they retreat back to being closed again. It is important to be gentle with each soul that we meet in this world. Remember not to take everything personal. Sometimes people need distance to recharge. And if they don’t reply back to the text, or return your call right away.. don’t forget that everyone is dealing with life and their own personal problems. Some situations are different! Some people only want to reach out when they need you, and when you are dealing with a friendship like that then you may need to have a sit down with that person because in a friendship it is important for both people to spiritually feel each other up not use you when it is convenient for them.

Also, as years go by and I’ve realized that everyone isn’t where you are at mentally. The best you can do is continue to pray for your friends, loved ones and your partner that maybe struggling in this season. God has put you in the lives of others to serve and be a friend. I know it can get frustrating at times but God will bless you for your faithfulness. Through all that you go through remember that the heart of life is good. No matter how people treat you, don’t allow that to take away your pure spirit and heart of loving people.

1 Peter 4: 8-10

8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

If you would like to purchase my Poetry and Prose books click on Menu and then the Books tab for more information. OR, you can go to Amazon and search up my newest book Fading Into the Clouds by Deonte’ Earl Towner.

Tired of Everything

Sometimes in life we become tired of everything. We become tired of having to wake up on time for work, tired of answering phone calls and text, tired of striving and going after goals, tired of putting effort into our relationships with people, tired of obligations and deadlines, tired of schedules and upcoming events. We become mentally and physically drained by the everyday life.

@deontetowner

Sometimes in life we become tired of everything. We become tired of having to wake up on time for work, tired of answering phone calls and text, tired of striving and going after goals, tired of putting effort into our relationships with people, tired of obligations and deadlines, tired of schedules and upcoming events. We become mentally and physically drained by the everyday life. We even get tired of doing the things that we love at times. We become so tired of even explaining to people of how we are feeling on the inside.

Sometimes we can lay in bed and just have no motivation to get up. We get to a point in our life where all we want to do is eat, crawl back in bed and go to sleep. Everything going on in the world can have a huge impact on our mood. Seeing people dying on the news, people protesting and the hardships people all around the world are going through can cause us to lose touch of the good things in life. You find yourself crying and not knowing where to start in explaining your feelings. Your mind begins to go in all directions and everyday begins to become everyday. The repeat of life is becoming hard on your emotional well being. Life begins to feel like there is no excitement and all of a sudden from all the tiredness you begin to question your purpose.

If you are feeling tired of everything I pray that God continues to give you strength. Do not give up. God gives us strength when we are weak. We have to remember to call on the name of Jesus Christ every chance we get especially in the morning before we start our day. We must pray and read the Bible. The word of God is living and breathing and that is the only way we will gain strength and energy. When we start depending on our own strength and might that is when things begin to go downhill. Only God can give us hope, faith, and life! We must put everything in Gods hands and constantly listen to his voice. We must detach from everything in the world. Log off social media sometimes, stop answering phone calls for awhile and quite ourself so that we can listen to what God is trying to tell us. And I promise you that after you get off your knees and finish lifting up your hands seeking God, you will feel better than you did before you began praying. I love you my brother and sister in Christ.

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Random Thoughts of Sadness

When will I stop having sad thoughts? When will my past stop trying to creep into my mind? When will I stop wrestling against my mind and emotions?

@deontetowner

Do you ever have random sad thoughts throughout your day or night for no reason? Maybe the thought is a failed relationship from the past, imagining someone you love die, past trauma you moved on from but still trying to stay alive in your present, or maybe a thought driven by anxiety of unrealistic scenarios to bring more pain and worry into your life.

I have realized that many of these thoughts are rooted from the devil in the spiritual realm. The devil wants to hold us captive. He doesn’t want us to live free in Jesus Christ. He wants us to constantly live in fear. Everyday we must fight against the evil one. We must remind ourselves through prayer and the strength of Jesus Christ we are healed from our past. It can be very challenging and exhausting when all you want to do is be happy. You maybe reading this wondering “When will I stop having sad thoughts. When will my past stop trying to creep into my mind. When will I stop wrestling against my mind and emotions?” The answer is that God will give us power to rebuke those negative thoughts that try to stir us from the right direction. The more we draw closer to God the easier it is to fight. We have to depend totally on him and not our own ways or strength. The more you try to fight the devil by yourself the harder it becomes. God makes us strong when we are weak. God fights every single battle that we come against.

The goal of the devil is to kill, steal and destroy. The devil knows that God has great things in store for you, so he is trying to get into your mind in any way. If he cannot go through the front door he will go through the side door, and if he can’t go through the side door he will come through the roof. When you are living for Jesus Christ all those doors are blocked by the Holy Spirit. The devil is a coward and he knows what triggers your mood, but when God is in control of your whole being no trick the devil tries to throw at you can cause you to lose your relationship with God. Next time you have a sad thought put your hand on your head and chest, say “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ. The blood of Jesus rebuke you.” Amen

If you would like to purchase my Poetry and Prose books click on Menu and then the Books tab for more information. OR, you can go to Amazon and search up my newest book Fading Into the Clouds by Deonte’ Earl Towner.

Valentine’s Day Blues

I know Valentines Day can be challenging because you are single, your relationship is on the rocks, or the pain from the break up is still fresh and there is no joy on this day for you, but use this day to celebrate the love that God has placed inside your heart and remind yourself how strong you are despite all that tried to break you. 

@deontetowner

“Nobody loves me. Something must be wrong with me because I am single once again on Valentines Day.”

“I hate myself. I am such a LONER”

“Everyone seems so happy but me.”

“Why can’t I be in a relationship like everyone else on Valentines Day.”

Do not allow this day to make you feel sad. Don’t feel ashamed because you are the only one in your friend group that is single. Or, you may have just walked out of a relationship and you are used to spending it with them all these years. I know Valentines Day can be challenging because you are single, your relationship is on the rocks, or the pain from the break up is still fresh and there is no joy on this day for you, but use this day to celebrate the love that God has placed inside your heart and remind yourself how strong you are despite all that tried to break you. Use this day to celebrate the love that you have given out to friends, family, strangers and yourself. Don’t allow this day to rob you of your peace and joy. Stop comparing your life to every couple on social media. Stop thinking that you would be happier if you were in a relationship. Stop wanting what everyone has. God has someone specially designed just for you. He has someone that will be able to love you despite your flaws and shortcomings, but you have to be still and stand on his word.

Do something special on Valentines Day. Go to the park, beach, watch some Netflix or walk around the city and take pictures. There are so many single people in the world, and you are not the only one. I bet you have single friends too! Have a social distance meet up with one of your friends. Make a bucket list and do all the things you love to do, and if you can’t find someone do those things with then do them yourself. God has brought you too far in your emotions to sit around, sulk and feel sorry for yourself. Celebrate how much stronger you are ever since the pandemic. Celebrate that you are alive, healthy and doing your best to hold it together.

So next time you have a sad thought hold your head up high, smile and lift up your hands and begin to thank God for another year of life. You deserve so much on Valentines Day. Go to your favorite bakery, buy yourself some chocolates, brownies and flowers. Hug your loved ones, and Facetime those that you haven’t called in awhile, you may get emotional and cry but let them know how much you love and appreciate them. Please do not sell yourself short this Valentines Day, but instead celebrate life and love. JESUS LOVES YOU!

If you would like to purchase my Poetry and Prose books click on Menu and then the Books tab for more information. OR, you can go to Amazon and search up my newest book Fading Into the Clouds by Deonte’ Earl Towner.

When God Tells You to Let Go of Something You Love

Sometimes you have to be willing to walk away from the things we love in order to get closer to God.

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At some point in our lives we must ask ourselves the critical question “What do I need to let go of?” Some of us need to let go of people, things, places or even habits/traditions that we hold dear to our hearts. In order to get closer to God we have to obey God when he speaks. We should not allow anything to get in the way of our relationship with God. Some of the things that we deem as important are sometimes hindering us from our blessing. That open door we have been praying for is right there but in order to walk into our blessing we have to be willing to let go. God has placed a calling on all of our lives, but one thing about God is that he gives us choice and he won’t force us to do anything that we aren’t willing to do.

Do you love God enough to let it go?

That’s a personal question that we have to ask ourselves, and most importantly be real about our conversations with God. God knows when we are telling the truth, and he knows when we are only saying things to sound “good”. God searches the heart, but he also understands that we are human. If you are not willing to let that “it” go, then ask God to change the desires of your heart. Ask him to give you the strength and the WANT to let it go. I promise you that God will come through and deliver you from those struggles that we held on to for so long. Whatever that “it” is, God is bigger and stronger than anything. At the end of this post begin to pray and ask God “What do I need to let go for your glory?” It is a scary question because he will reveal it to us, but it is vitally important for our spiritual growth.

Isaiah 43 18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

If you would like to purchase my Poetry and Prose books click on Menu and then the Books tab for more information. OR, you can go to Amazon and search up my newest book Fading Into the Clouds by Deonte’ Earl Towner.

Too Hurt To Open Up

Sometimes when you’ve been hurt so many times you forget how to open up again.

@deontetowner

The older I get the more I begin to realize that God didn’t create us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Why do we often put all these responsibilities and burdens on ourselves? We often feel in times of sadness that we cannot cry in front of everyone because we have to be that “strong support system”. When our friends are going through a crisis we tend to be that friend that listens to all of their problems and take it in, but when we are in time of need it seems as though nobody is there for us because they think that we can carry it on our own. Deep down inside sometimes we are too afraid to open up because we do not want anyone to think that we are weak. We fear that after we unload people may see us as “crazy”. Or sometimes we have pushed others away so much to the point they don’t know how to be there for us.

I am learning that no matter how strong we are. No matter how brave or hard we act in front of others.. we still have emotions. We still need the same support and love that we give back to others. It takes time to allow people fully in especially when we are not used to being vulnerable in front of others. We allow people to let it all out, and we give some of the best advice but then we fail to take in the advice that we give others. We have to learn that it is okay and God want’s us to connect to other human beings on an emotional level. We have to stop shutting everyone out, but I am guilty of having a wall up at times. Sometimes we have been hurt by people so much that we build towers upon towers so that people can’t get too close to us. We allow them in, but not too much. Just enough for our comfort! Who else is guilty?

Pray and ask God to slowly take down the wall, the bridge, that huge Eiffel Tower that took you years to complete in front of your heart. It is important to have a healthy wall up, but not so big to the point you are keeping everything in. Everyone is not the enemy. There are some people out there that truly care about you. Through prayer and reading the word of God he will reveal those that you need to watch out for. Through time God will help you let go of the pain so that you can begin to heal. Even if the pain doesn’t go away fully, Jesus Christ will give you the strength and power to make it through every day. He will give you the courage to use your life as a testimony to help others. Just remember it all takes time. We are in this together.

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Overthinking, Depression, Anxiety During the Pandemic.

Some people have been holding in their pain for so long that if they finally open up they wouldn’t know where to start and the pain would be so deep the tears may never stop flowing.

@deontetowner

Sometimes our mind will tell us that we aren’t good enough, no one loves you, you are all alone, just give up, won’t you just stop trying, you will never reach your dreams, why do you look like that, you are never going to move on and the later it gets at night sometimes our thoughts become darker. We have all been through so much trauma in our life. Some of us have been through things that we would never tell anyone because people will either look at us different or the pain is so deep we would never stop crying if we had the words to express what’s deep down inside of our hearts. Some of us have so many sad stories that we would probably cry uncontrollably because we have held it in for so long.

During this pandemic so many people have been experiencing depression and anxiety. Our anxiety and depression was bad before but now it is at an all time high for most people. I have learned to just pray and depend on God. I realized that if I keep allowing my mind to play tricks on me then I will never become all that God has created me to be. I also learned that during this time it is perfectly fine to be alone. Sometimes we have to be alone in order to hear from God. God want’s us all to be still in this season. Sometimes we are so used to moving very fast and keeping ourselves busy that we aren’t dealing with what is going on the inside of us. Sometimes we keep ourselves busy so we don’t have to put up with our thoughts. I have realized that we have all done this before. Instead of tackling our problems we make excuses about how busy we are, but I believe that God is dealing with each and every one of us.

After this pandemic is over, not sure when it will be but I believe that we are all going to come out spiritually stronger and better. Every time your anxiety is creeping up begin to pray and call out the Blood of Jesus Christ. Don’t allow your depression and anxiety to take you under. Don’t allow your thoughts to drown out all the amazing things God has said about you. You are greater. After this pandemic is over, not sure when it will be but I believe that we are all going to come out spiritually stronger and better. Every time your anxiety is creeping up begin to pray and call out the Blood of Jesus Christ. Don’t allow your depression and anxiety to take you under. Don’t allow your thoughts to drown out all the amazing things God has said about you. You are greater.

If you would like to purchase my Poetry and Prose books click on Menus and then the Books tab for more information.