Sometimes when you’ve been hurt so many times you forget how to open up again.
The older I get the more I begin to realize that God didn’t create us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Why do we often put all these responsibilities and burdens on ourselves? We often feel in times of sadness that we cannot cry in front of everyone because we have to be that “strong support system”. When our friends are going through a crisis we tend to be that friend that listens to all of their problems and take it in, but when we are in time of need it seems as though nobody is there for us because they think that we can carry it on our own. Deep down inside sometimes we are too afraid to open up because we do not want anyone to think that we are weak. We fear that after we unload people may see us as “crazy”. Or sometimes we have pushed others away so much to the point they don’t know how to be there for us.
I am learning that no matter how strong we are. No matter how brave or hard we act in front of others.. we still have emotions. We still need the same support and love that we give back to others. It takes time to allow people fully in especially when we are not used to being vulnerable in front of others. We allow people to let it all out, and we give some of the best advice but then we fail to take in the advice that we give others. We have to learn that it is okay and God want’s us to connect to other human beings on an emotional level. We have to stop shutting everyone out, but I am guilty of having a wall up at times. Sometimes we have been hurt by people so much that we build towers upon towers so that people can’t get too close to us. We allow them in, but not too much. Just enough for our comfort! Who else is guilty?
Pray and ask God to slowly take down the wall, the bridge, that huge Eiffel Tower that took you years to complete in front of your heart. It is important to have a healthy wall up, but not so big to the point you are keeping everything in. Everyone is not the enemy. There are some people out there that truly care about you. Through prayer and reading the word of God he will reveal those that you need to watch out for. Through time God will help you let go of the pain so that you can begin to heal. Even if the pain doesn’t go away fully, Jesus Christ will give you the strength and power to make it through every day. He will give you the courage to use your life as a testimony to help others. Just remember it all takes time. We are in this together.
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