Too Hurt To Open Up

Posted bydeontetownerPosted inlifeTags:, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes when you’ve been hurt so many times you forget how to open up again.

@deontetowner

The older I get the more I begin to realize that God didn’t create us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Why do we often put all these responsibilities and burdens on ourselves? We often feel in times of sadness that we cannot cry in front of everyone because we have to be that “strong support system”. When our friends are going through a crisis we tend to be that friend that listens to all of their problems and take it in, but when we are in time of need it seems as though nobody is there for us because they think that we can carry it on our own. Deep down inside sometimes we are too afraid to open up because we do not want anyone to think that we are weak. We fear that after we unload people may see us as “crazy”. Or sometimes we have pushed others away so much to the point they don’t know how to be there for us.

I am learning that no matter how strong we are. No matter how brave or hard we act in front of others.. we still have emotions. We still need the same support and love that we give back to others. It takes time to allow people fully in especially when we are not used to being vulnerable in front of others. We allow people to let it all out, and we give some of the best advice but then we fail to take in the advice that we give others. We have to learn that it is okay and God want’s us to connect to other human beings on an emotional level. We have to stop shutting everyone out, but I am guilty of having a wall up at times. Sometimes we have been hurt by people so much that we build towers upon towers so that people can’t get too close to us. We allow them in, but not too much. Just enough for our comfort! Who else is guilty?

Pray and ask God to slowly take down the wall, the bridge, that huge Eiffel Tower that took you years to complete in front of your heart. It is important to have a healthy wall up, but not so big to the point you are keeping everything in. Everyone is not the enemy. There are some people out there that truly care about you. Through prayer and reading the word of God he will reveal those that you need to watch out for. Through time God will help you let go of the pain so that you can begin to heal. Even if the pain doesn’t go away fully, Jesus Christ will give you the strength and power to make it through every day. He will give you the courage to use your life as a testimony to help others. Just remember it all takes time. We are in this together.

If you would like to purchase my Poetry and Prose books click on Menus and then the Books tab for more information.

24 thoughts on “Too Hurt To Open Up”

  2. I really appreciate what I’ve read here so far, Sir. It’s wonderful how God is using your willingness to be His hands, providing things for students, and I admire the work you’re doing as a teacher, especially in your community. My high school English teacher (1968) is still my hero, though he passed away years ago. He affirmed my talent, and by doing so put a candle in my hands and heart–it can never go out. Maybe someday I’ll publish beyond the blogs…

    I thank you for anything and all you can do to help us find healing and unity. I’m an old white woman who’s a bit mixed up regarding the issues which have taken over the headlines–I never had any personal issues with people of color, in fact I was envious (in a good, friendly and respectful way) of the African American women I worked with because of their incredible strength and grace. And when I was very young, I had 2 Black nannies who were kinder to me than my mother, unfortunately.

    I understand more now than previously, that there’s a systemic racism which is deeply rooted, and the injustice of it breaks my heart–how can anyone NOT grieve for all the shameful behavior and deaths which are part of the nightly news? Could you tell me how I might do more to be part of the solution? Thanks in advance, and may God bless you to overflowing from His abundant riches.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. All the glory belongs to God, thank you so much for reaching out to me. If you want to read more of my writings check out my newest book on amazon called fading into the clouds. A way you can get involved is having these difficult conversations with your family and friends about racism and spreading awareness on your social media page. Thanks for all that you do and thanks for supporting my blog. Yes publish! I would purchase!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Thanks so much for your kind reply, and encouragement. I mostly wanted you to know that I sincerely care about all the pain that’s enveloping the nation’s families. Since I don’t have a magic wand, I’ll PRAY–for we do have a most Faithful God who is Sovereign, and I’m putting my hope and trust in Him to bring resolution and peace. “Difficult conversations” is aptly phrased–we’re all more fearful than ever of saying the wrong thing, and not saying the right things. I’ll check out your new book 🙂 Blessings.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Hello “Nephew”–I just ordered your 3 books (putting my Soc Security dollars where my mouth is😊). I wanted to mention also that, having visited your blog and chatting with you today, I was reminded of the movie “Freedom Writers”–did you love the story as much as I did? Okay, I must sign off for now–as I’ve been up all night and should consider sleep. Take good care–your prayer warrior Auntie.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Awww thank you Auntie. And yes I loved that movie! I could watch it all day. And I also love the movie 187! Have you watched it???! And thanks so so so much all the glory belongs to God!!! Means so much!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I haven’t see “187”–sounds scary, but I’ll look for it. Another one I’ve watched a million times that is a true “teacher impacts students” film: The Ron Clark Story. You’ve probably seen it too–he also wrote a couple books which describe his very successful teaching methods–he’s phenomenal!! I might mention that my mother was a teacher in NY and also Houston, TX. I think she taught Jr High, not sure anymore. Okay, must nap now! 🙂 ❤ I'm so glad we've met–what a blessing from the Lord today. I prayed that He will cause everything He puts in your hands to prosper–that your writing will enjoy success by His favor; and that your students will be highly impacted by you, and become shining lights, leaders in the world. See you later…

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes he can deliver and free us from anything that we are feeling on the inside. Jesus is amazing and provides us with more than what we pray for… I cannot thank him enough.. also if you’re into poetry I have a new book out on Amazon called Fading Into the Clouds.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      3. I have a couple things on there! Just search my name and see if anything looks good! 2 Movies “The Hepburn Girls” and “No Lost Cause” and one book, which is a BTS making of “No Lost Cause” – let me know what you decide to try and if you like it! Your book arrives Monday! 😀

        Liked by 2 people

    1. It takes time you and I are in this together. I have a 143 page poetry book on healing and letting people go.. very emotional. The pain we carry from day to day. It’s on amazon called Fading Into the Clouds you should check it out if you have a chance..

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: